Lost, Found, and Somewhere in Between

Yesterday, I was lost. Literally.

The facility was a maze, its halls twisting in ways that made no sense. As I finally exited, I muttered, “How the hell am I supposed to get back?” And, true to my own prophecy, I got completely turned around. Walking in circles. Passing the same painting of an obnoxiously grinning white man in a bow tie and suspenders — because of course, another white man being a nuisance. I hated this. I hated him. And I hated his fucking bow tie.

At one point, I asked a woman for help. But even with her guidance, I still ended up lost. Maybe because I tuned her out after, “Go straight down, pass those double doors.” I have a habit of half-listening, half-predicting, assuming I already know where things are going.

So there I was — me, my frustration, and Bow Tie Man, watching me spiral.

So I stopped. Observed. Tried again.

After a wrong turn, I went the opposite way. And slowly, things became familiar. Landmarks I had ignored before started making sense. Fragments of her directions resurfaced, like whispers… Right on the large planter… past the vending machine…

Twenty minutes later, I had found my way.

And today, I walked that same route effortlessly.

So much so that when I saw a mother and child standing aimlessly, I guided them to the same space I once struggled to find.

The timing of this feels too perfect. Because the truth is — I am lost, figuratively.

In the weight of conflicting demands — work, life, family — unsure of what to prioritize, unsure of my focus, unsure of where I’m even going, let alone how the hell I’m going to get back on track.

I still don’t know. And I have to work on being okay with that.

Because even when things feel cluttered, even when I don’t have a clear sense of direction, I can take a breath, note familiar landmarks, and keep moving toward the path that isn’t just another loop.

And maybe — if I finally stop half-listening, half-predicting, assuming I already know where things are going —

I’ll actually hear the whispers telling me I’m already on my way.